My Barack Obama Pitch

Soooo, there are only 20-some days until we bid this tumultuous election season adieu.  I think it's high time I stop bitching about the enemy, and start talking about why I like the hero of this story.  It's too late for me to make a criticism sandwich, so I guess this one will be an open-face sandwich.  Bad metaphor, I apologize.  Anyway, here's what I think of The Barack, beyond his eloquent speeches and youth-inspiring charisma:

His economic plan is brilliant, yet so simple:

1) Rebuild our infrastructure and poverty-stricken areas, creating more jobs and eliminating a "no hope" mentality in some of these areas;

2) Invest in new energy technologies, also creating more jobs, and taking money out of the pockets of oil-wealthy dictators that pose a national security threat, AND helping the environment;

3) Sell these technologies abroad, so that we make money off of our ingenuity, and even further help the environment;

4) Invest more into important things like education, so that we can actually compete in the global economy and stop being a country of idiots (this one also includes ousting the RIDICULOUS [mathematically impossible] No Child Left Behind Act, as well as guaranteeing that everyone can afford college, so long as they are willing to volunteer and serve their country.

Hmmmm...SMASHING!

Where's all this money coming from, you ask?  Well, I'll tell you.

1) Tax loopholes for companies that (unpatriotically, in my opinion) cut American jobs to send them abroad will be closed, creating millions in tax revenue.  However, more money will NOT come from the indispensable middle class.  He will NOT...I repeat: HE WILL NOT increase taxes for a vast majority of people in this country (unlike what Fox News likes to tell us), but will close those corporate loopholes, and increase taxes to the wealthiest 5%.  Oh, and no whining, rich-as-fuck people.  I think you can spare it for the country that made you so stinking rich.  We've scratched your back for long enough, I think it's our turn.  Trickle-down economics and faux laissez-faire do NOT WORK, and we have seen evidence of this in the last year;

2) The hundreds of millions (yes, millions) we spend every day in Iraq will go to something PRODUCTIVE as we get the hell out of there and force the Iraqis to take control of their own destiny.  It's sooooo obvious that this farce has gone on long enough while Al Qaeda gets stronger in Afghanistan, global starvation is at its historical peak, and our economy crumbles.  This one is a no-brainer, and Obama is going to do something about it;

3) I'm sure there's more that I can't think of right now.  I'm on deadline here, people.  I'll get back to you.  :)

As for national security:

1) The aforementioned energy investments, which is also a no-brainer - STOP PAYING OUR ENEMIES FOR A PRODUCT THAT HURTS THE ENVIRONMENT...ahem, sorry;

2) Rebuild our ruined European alliances and our abysmal global reputation;

3) Speak with the leaders of these so-called "rogue nations," (which was done by Kennedy, Nixon, Reagan, etc.), allowing us to actually communicate with these people that we don't understand, and whom don't understand us.  To kill two birds with one stone, it also throws the world for a loop by not appearing stubborn and self-righteous - need I say, jingoist and xenophobic.  Any others, folks?  So many adjectives, so little time.  I cannot for the life of me figure out why the hell people think this is such an insane idea.  It really just makes sense.  I always forget where I live, though.

I guess the final quality I admire of The Barack, is that he has an open mind.  Recently I received an email from a beloved but right-leaning (or falling) relative.  It was criticizing Obama for reading a book titled, "The Post-American World," allegedly written from an Islamic point of view.  Now, there's no real evidence that it is written from a fundamentalist/extremist Islamic point of view, but let's assume for the sake of argument that it is.  What better way to learn about those who want to do us harm then to read a book by one of them, about US?  I think it's requisite for a president to have an open mind to those ideals which differ from his or her own.  I'd be willing to bet that there were American leaders during WWII that read Mien Kamf (sp?), simply to figure out where Hitler was coming from.  Did it make them Nazis? Of course not!  This is pure speculation, obviously, but a reasonable one in my opinion.  I believe that he is reading this (if he is actually reading it, and it wasn't Photoshopped into the photo) to LEARN.  Funny...reading to learn.  What a smart person!

Well, that was my pitch for now.  I'm sure there will be more as the election nears.  I gave it all I had.  I am very passionate about the idea of change in this country, and I am lucid about my ideals.  Criticize them, analyze them, destroy them if you will.  I shall shun you if you do.  :)

Be well.